Do you ever notice, when you do something a little differently, maybe a new approach, or a new attitude or behaviour, a part of you says “Hey. Why are you being fake?” As if you’re being a traitor to your own “pure” nature?
This happens to me all the time. I remember when I first started going to the gym, some voice in my head kept saying “Oi. Why are you at the gym? You’re not a gym person. Nobody likes a fake.”
It’s a strange phenomenon. It’s almost like somewhere along the way (for me, I think it was adolescence) you decide what the real “you” is – this unfettered, undiluted, pure version of “you” – and then, when you do anything to challenge it, a part of you gets indignant and tries to talk you out of it.
It’s funny because we hate the idea of being “fake” or trying to be something false or inauthentic.
You’re constantly told “Be Yourself”, but why?
When it’s restricting you from being who you’d prefer to be? What if parts of who I “really” am are kinda shitty? Maybe I’ve always been a bit judgy, and impatient, and a sulk? Do I accept that’s how I am? Because that’s how I’ve always been, and therefore how I’ll always be. Or can I say, “hey, I’m gonna start trying to be less of a stroppy, whingy bitch?”
The old, primal centre of our brain isn’t a big fan of change. This was because back when we were cave dwellers, change could mean getting eaten by wolves or dying from eating poisonous clams. For some us, this caveman brain is over-active. It wants you to be the same way you always have been because it’s is safe, comfortable and predictable – even if it hasn’t served you in your life thus far particularly well. This is why when you try to shake things up and think/behave a little differently, it goes “HEY. WHAT THIS? PLS DON’T.”
If you want to change who you are to make yourself happier, healthier or get you closer to your goals, don’t stress over being “fake” or betraying the person you think you rly are. We can adopt and develop new habits, behaviours and thought patterns all throughout our life. Parts of our brains can make change difficult but not impossible.
Your identity is not a prison, it’s a playground.
Try new things, be curious, have fun, and be what makes you happy.